that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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