K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Randomize
