Will you blow on my dice?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
