Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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