I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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