Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
