I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
