maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize