I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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