I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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