Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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