yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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