She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
