i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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