She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
