Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
