lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
