Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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