people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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