I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize