Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
