Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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