watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
