When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
