The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
