i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Never let your siblings swipe right.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
