should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
