sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I forget how to act sober
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
