I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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