just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
