Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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