apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sext me about skeletons
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
