I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
