just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
