Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i barfeds in our rink
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
