Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
