is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
