i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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