"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
