he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
