wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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