hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize