Can i not drive my cunt home
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think your dad took our porno
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize