you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
