Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
