she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
the raccoons are back...
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