And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
sex in a hospital.. check
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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