she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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