Kiss
Puke
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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