OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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