I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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