Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
