Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
