Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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