i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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