we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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