He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
