Your dad touched me again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
