D3 body, D1 cock
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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