i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
